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Marriage Preparation -
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Recently Engaged? Start Here.
Below are the Seven Steps for getting married within the Catholic Church in the Diocese of Madison. More than seeing these steps simply as a list of requirements, however, we hope you will welcome this process as an opportunity to reflect more deeply both on what marriage is and what it will ask of you. Throughout this time of formation, we hope to share with you the beauty of married life and the high calling that the Church proposes to us.
Are you an interfaith couple (Catholic and a non-Catholic) preparing for marriage? We have additional resources for you here!
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Seven Steps to Get Married
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When: Before you set a wedding date.
Contact your parish as soon as possible, preferably one year in advance, but at least six months before your desired wedding date. Once you are engaged, reach out to your pastor right away to set up a meeting. It is essential to meet with him as early as possible, so that you will have enough time to resolve any issues, obtain necessary documents, and benefit fully from the marriage preparation process.
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When: As soon as possible after meeting with your pastor.
Depending on the parish, you will be asked to complete the FOCCUS or Prepare/Enrich marriage preparation inventory, both of which use a series of questions designed to assess each of your habits, expectations, and values. Afterward, you will receive a personalized profile detailing the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship. A trained individual or couple will then help you to interpret it, offering guidance on which areas may need further discussion.
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When: Six to nine months before the wedding.
There are currently two options for Catholic marriage preparation available within the Diocese of Madison. Your pastor will help you to determine which one best suits your needs and situation.
Si está buscando información sobre preparación prematrimonial en español, haga un clic aquí.Option 1: Witness to Love
Witness to Love is a mentor-based program that focuses on building a relationship between the engaged couple and the mentor couple, while also helping everyone to grow in virtue. You will begin by choosing a mentor couple, ideally one that you already trust and admire, who will walk with you before and after your wedding day. The relationship you develop with them will provide you with spiritual and relational support throughout your engagement and into married life. Rooted, lasting relationships are vital for every newly married couple!
With this option, you will also participate in a day-long retreat held at a parish somewhere in the Diocese. The WTL intake coordinator will explain this step in greater detail at your first meeting, at which point you can register for a retreat using the link at the bottom of this page or by clicking on the event on the M&F homepage.Option 2: Marriage Prep Weekend Retreat
If you live in different cities or simply do not have enough time to participate in Witness to Love, you can join us on a weekend retreat, where you will focus on one another away from the distractions of daily life. Over the course of the weekend, you will learn more about the vocation of marriage, receive tips and tools for how to live a joy-filled marriage, spend time in deep conversation with your beloved, and encounter the love and grace of Jesus Christ through Confession, Eucharistic Adoration, and Sunday Mass. The retreat typically begins on Friday evening and ends Sunday afternoon.
Upcoming Retreats:
Visit the MP retreat page for more information and to REGISTER for a retreat!- February 13-15, 2026
- April 17-19, 2026
Got questions? Contact Tristan at 608-821-3026 or [email protected]
Option 3: Online Formation with CatholicMarriagePrep.com
In rare cases, online formation might be the only workable option. For instance, when the couple lives in different parts of the country, such that in-person formation through Witness to Love would be difficult or impossible, CatholicMarriagePrep.com can be used.
That being said, the benefits of growing in relationship with another couple, experiencing the sacraments within the context of a community, and having more exposure to their pastor throughout the process, offer a compelling reason to use Witness to Love, if at all possible. Otherwise, perhaps the couple could arrange to be here in Madison together for one of the weekend retreats, which would also give them a more concrete and relational experience of marriage formation.
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When: Six months before your wedding. Be sure to register far enough in advance so you can complete the course before your wedding, since it involves formal instruction and multiple meetings.
To ensure you have the tools to plan your family effectively and in accord with God’s plan for marriage, you will have the opportunity to learn Natural Family Planning. Check out the NFP page for details on how to register for a course (either locally or online), an overview of NFP, and the different methods available.
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When: Four to six weeks before the wedding.
As the date of your wedding approaches, you should meet again with the priest or deacon who will be witnessing your marriage to finalize plans for the ceremony and address any additional needs that you have.
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When: One to four weeks before the wedding.
We encourage you to prepare yourself spiritually by receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation shortly before your wedding day, so as to receive all the graces that God desires to pour out upon you in the Sacrament of Marriage. Make an appointment with your pastor, or check out the confession schedule at another nearby parish. Need some tips on what to do in the "penalty box"? The priest will be happy to walk you through the process, or you can check out the following resources:
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Congratulations on making it to your big day! But remember, this is just the beginning. Stay connected to God by going to Sunday Mass every week, and talk to your pastor about ways to meet people at the parish so that you can sustain and nourish your love for one other in a welcoming and supportive community. Of course, the Internet has plenty to offer, and so you can also tap into resources geared toward building healthy marriages and families:
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Questions? Contact Us!
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Tristan Borland
Associate Director of Marriage & Family
Phone: (608) 821-3026
Email: [email protected]
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